"I would just like to sit on the balcony and look at the ocean."
Soon as we got to our condo, I walked out to the balcony and looked out at the ocean wondering if it's that big a deal. It sort of is, not really the view but the combination of the view, the smell, and the feel of the wind. It's peaceful, somewhere you would want to hang out for your last days.
We used to go to Myrtle Beach when we were little and thought it would be a good idea to plan a family vacation for old times sake. Everyone together at the beach including mom and dad. I thought it was unbelievable how everyone got their schedules changed to where this could actually happen, thinking that it would probably be the first and last time we would ever do this again. We did it though, three months ago, everything was final, reservations made.
So here we are, bittersweet, at the beach. Dad started feeling bad about a month and a half ago, didn't feel like doing anything. We realized something was terribly wrong when it got to the point that he couldn't mow the lawn. After going to the doctor, we all had a family meeting and found out he had terminal cancer. This vacation was going to be the last vacation we were all going to be together.
As the family planned vacation got closer, we all realized that it wasn't going to be possible. The combination of blood thinners, low oxygen levels, and low blood pressure made it too dangerous for him. But seriously, so what, it's too dangerous, what does it matter really. Mom says he's just too weak, and I guess we all agree.
But as I stand out on this balcony, looking out at the ocean, should we have made it happen?
I will always remember him saying, "I would just like to sit on the balcony and look at the ocean."
